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Wednesday, November 9th, 2005

Subject:Friends only from here on out <3
Time:11:11 pm.
Mood: okay.
Us humans are all so much the same but so far apart. Right now from my window I can see directly across the street the building that faces me, and inside the building across from mine lives a collection of souls. They live these lives, live in these circles which revolve around their basic needs such as work, leisure, friends, partying and love. They they cry, they laugh, they manage just like I do. Only 10 meters seperate our lives...as well as light and darkness. I wonder what it would be like to just talk to them. To know that we are so close but will never see eachother, meet, talk or in any way interact. I can see a Muslim woman who took off her head-scarf and is brushing her hair, in the next window I see an Old Man writing. In another I see someone watching TV peacefully. They have names, they have families, and they have histories.

I will never know them.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Time:11:02 pm.
Us humans are all so much the same but so far apart. Right now from my window I can see directly across the street the building that faces me, and inside the window across from mine lives a collection of souls. They live these lives, live in these circles. They work, they cry, they laugh, they manage just like I do. Only 10 meters seperate our lives. And light and darkness. I wonder what it would be like to just talk to them. To know that we are so close but will never see eachother, meet, talk or in any way interact. I can see a Muslim woman who took off her head-scarf and is brushing her hair, in the next window I see an Old Man writing. In another I see someone watching TV.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Monday, March 15th, 2004

Subject:Slut Status
Time:7:50 pm.
I think I beat you Jill!

outsideprovie's LiveJournal Slut Stats
The below percentages indicate what outsideprovie has done with the 33 people on his friends list!
met

51.5%
hugged

27.3%
dated

9.1%
kissed

6.1%
seen topless

3.0%
seen naked

6.1%
phone sexed

6.1%
made out

6.1%
oral sex

6.1%
fucked

6.1%
What are your LiveJournal Slut Stats?
Sponsored via Adult Friend Finder. Keep this meme and others like it checking it out or getting free account! You may meet the match of your dreams!
Comments: Read 7 orAdd Your Own.

Saturday, March 13th, 2004

Subject:Bah!
Time:11:27 am.
Mood: naughty.
I wonder what the root of all evil is. Is it money? Greed? Sex? I'm not sure, I think maybe humans in general just suck. We fuck up all the time, it makes me wish we were all just as stupid as animals and weren't able to scheme up suicide bombings, crash two planes in the WTC's, or cause unnecessary wars, or pollute the the lands we are so dependent on. I mean seriously, how fucking awful can we as humans get? Why would anybody want to kill a mass amount of people just to show their resentment against Spain because they want their independence? I don't mind them that they want their independence and I have seen the two sides of the story because my friend Margaret is Bask, but there are so many better ways to express themselves. Killing people that are completely innocent have nothing to do with the reason why Spain and Bask are not seperate.

Another thing that pisses me off is how much we take for granted here. I mean I was thinking yesterday as I watched the whole deal on CNN about the train bombing, how lucky (so far) we are. I mean we just sit and look at the TV and don't even feel bothered or affected by what we see. There are tons of people dying out there in war and famine and other crazy shit, and here we are just relaxing on the couch doing nothing. It makes me sick. Like, the day of 9/11 my neighbors were throwing a party down the street, a bachelor party. That infuriates me!

Well this entry was pointless but I just had to relinquish my angsty thoughts.
----"Mojo Pin" - Jeff Buckley (One of my favorite songs)
I'm lying in my bed, the blanket is warm
This body will never be safe from harm
Still feel your hair, black ribbons of coal
Touch my skin to keep me whole

If only you'd come back to me
If you laid at my side
Wouldn't need no mojo pin
To keep me satisfied

Don't wanna weep for you, don't wanna know
I'm blind and tortured, the white horses flow
The memories fire, the rhythms fall slow
Black beauty I love you so

Precious, precious silver and gold
And pearls in oyster's flesh
Drop down we two to serve and pray to love
Born again from the rhythm screaming down from heaven
Ageless, ageless and i'm there in your arms

Don't wanna weep for you, don't wanna know
I'm blind and tortured, the white horses flow
The memories fire, the rhythms fall slow
Black beauty i love you so

The welts of your scorn, my love, give me more
Send whips of opinion down my back, give me more
Well it's you i've waited my life to see
It's you i've searched so hard for

Don't wanna weep for you, i don't wanna know
I'm blind and tortured, the white horses flow
The memories fire, the rhythms fall slow
Black beauty i love you so
Comments: Read 4 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, March 12th, 2004

Subject:L.A. and Puma Jackets
Time:10:28 pm.
Mood: content.
The past fews days were fun. We went to check out the LA Film School in Hollywood. I absolutely loved it. I think I will definately go there after my four years of college. My mom and I stayed on Sunset Blvd. and I saw Hugh Heffner (the old guy owner of Playboy!) with a bunch of bunnies, Sting, and I swear Paris Hilton. My L.A. trip was fun.

My dream in life is to become a film director. I get all of these movie ideas in my head and it's something that I literally have to do.

Ok now onto better news. I met someone the other day and we were LJ buddies and I feel like I finally have somebody to connect with in Rhode Island. That's a good thing. Driving home I was realizing how I literally have not been in any relationships. I mean I was in one with this guy and it was really just a total disaster, I shouldn't have gotten involved in the first part but we're friends now. I was just naive then. Then I have been in like two with two different girls, but they went absolutely nowhere. One girl was Meg, and I guess at the time I felt we connected but in reality we were just two way way different people. Plus at school it is impossible to have relationships without having fucking press conferences with the entire school getting involved in your business. Anyways I have yet to come across anyone at school I can realistically see myself with. So yes, my love as of now is just immutable. But I do have someone in my mind.

I always hated L.A., but I am falling in love with it...in a wierd, wierd way.


Read more...Collapse )

Like my new Jacket? 20.oo Bucks!
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, March 10th, 2004

Subject:Someone like me.
Time:6:03 pm.
Mood: hopeful.
I think I see light coming into my life.
Comments: Read 5 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, March 8th, 2004

Subject:Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Time:6:49 pm.
Mood:SUPER.
Well, well, well....last night was, should I say - interesting?

1.) Sex
2.) Evil Influences/People
3.) Drugs

But it was a mighty good time. God it was good...the only thing is it was extremely risky, seeing as I smoked like, on my balcony with my friend. I feel so fucking rejuvenated today though! Man, it's been awhile since I've done anything "bad" because of boarding school. So I might as well live the rest of my vacation out.
What else is new--the weather. Man, it was 90 here, it sure was hot but it felt so good, I loved the feeling of the sun on my face. Seeing Luis was really needed (for several reasons) ;) and Sophia too. There isn't whole lot to say, but Jill, I do have good news for you: I have been eating scandalous amounts of SUSHI!

I do miss some of you greatly, however:
Lindz W: <3 Have fun in Spain
Ryan: You mah gurl, oops. <3
Jill: Susho power.
Ali: I heart you greately forever...I hope it gets better.
Lindsey: Be thirteen and rebellious for me while in the Bahamas.

Haha, this is SOOO freshman year...:
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, March 7th, 2004

Subject:hahahaaaaaaa
Time:11:10 pm.
yeah im msort of stonedf right now. with kluss. i mean luis. hah. yrshr i will talk to usomtime,. goodnighgt evefry one.!
Comments: Read 6 orAdd Your Own.

Saturday, March 6th, 2004

Subject:Lost in Translation
Time:8:42 pm.
Mood: creative.
She wandered her way through the electric ripples of people gliding past her to get on the subway, she was like water that seeps through the cracks, finding her way slowly, but curious to see what each dead end would lead her to. The neon lights painted in the mish mash and clutter of the modern buildings and loud clatter of feet rushing by her made her feel as if she was living in a dream. Charlotte was on a path to something, but she didn't know what. The world was spinning so fast, but she was in a trance. Everything was an intersting observation to her, staring at each detail and meticulously finding it's deeper meaning. The streets of Tokyo overwhelmed her, but in a way she liked it. Something inside of her was beginning a metomorphosis and she could feel it. Charlotte couldn't figure out what it meant and what her future was...and she was lost. But the world kept on spinning.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Subject:Hmm
Time:6:24 pm.
Mood: creative.
I'm thinking of going to see "the Yeah Yeah Yeahs"...should I?
Comments: Read 6 orAdd Your Own.

Subject:Happiness
Time:6:12 pm.
Mood: calm.
Today was pretty nice. My dad and I looked at cars for me, I think I really like the Toyota Scion. Then my mother and I went to Balboa Park and when to the musueum of Photography and damn it, I forgot the artist's name, but he was awesome. He mixed his artwork into the photo, it was bizarre but something I should try. All I can say is that it feels SO good to be home. The weather is beautiful, the people are happy, and most of all I am happy. I have desperately needed this break. The one thing that scares me is my grades. Physics and French were awful...all I want is just to not have a "D" in anything. I can't afford that now.

As wierd as it sounds, I am really trying to reconnect with my parents. I have come to the conclusion that I have robbed them from their jobs as parents and I want to mend all of the holes. That's why I am sort of putting off things I want to do with my friends mostly because I want to really be nice with my parents because I feel bad when I am gone, they just sit around and don't have much to do. Plus they have been great to me lately, I have been ridiculously spoiled....new phone...new camera....new DVD camcorder...and soon a car!? I feel terrible.

Yesterday I met up Sophia and Angelica. I ended up just being with Sophia. It reminded me so much of the old days, in 8th grade when she and I would walk around La Jolla after school. We walked along the ocean and the sun was setting, and I asked myself, "why the fuck did I leave this?". I should never gone away. As Sophia expressed, she exclaimed, "it would make it so much easier if you just came back. We all miss you, look at yourself, you are so unhappy". I agree. I actually do have a life here. But now I am in the middle of High School. Is it worth it to come back just for two years? It is going to go by so fast. But then is it worth it to be so depressed? I am so torn. I am not sure what to do. But fuck these thoughts, I just want to enjoy my break before (this is my luck, right?) it's over.
Comments: Read 4 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, March 5th, 2004

Subject:Heh
Time:11:33 am.
Mood: curious.
- You Know You're In California When... -

Your co-worker has 8 body piercing and none are visible.

You make over $300,000 a year and still can't afford a house.

You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.

You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown.

You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.

You can't remember.....is pot illegal?

A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.

Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like Bruce Willis IS Bruce Willis.

Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:00 pm Tae Bo class.

You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones or pagers.

It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

Both you AND your dog have therapists.

You're thinking of taking an adult class but you can't decide between aroma therapy or conversational mandarin.

You call 911 and they put you on hold.

You keep a list of companies to boycott.

You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

You give a "thumbs up" gesture to a car with a FREE TIBET bumper sticker -- and you mean it.

You realize the only Republicans you know are your aunt and uncle in Michigan.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, March 4th, 2004

Subject:I've survived WINTER TERM!
Time:7:23 am.
Mood: horny.
Last Exam.
Last Day.
San Diego I'm coming home.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2004

Subject:EXAMS SHOULD BE TERMINATED
Time:10:45 pm.
Mood: cold.
Man...the past few days have been rough. I hate exams, I did OK on Humanities, bombed Physics which depresses the hell out of me because I had a B in that class, so-so on French which sucks and tomorrow comes the all time worst:

GEOMETRY.

However, I will be going home tomorrow, so that clears the clouds. I just can not wait to be back in San Diego. The past few days have either consisted of frolicking around campus or studying in the library. There was more of frolicking, but we don't have to spread that around. (no shit why I did awful on Physics) The weather has been beautiful which is quite untiming due to the fact that this is EXAM WEEK AND WE SHOULD NOT BE CONFINED IN DOORS.

<3 you lindsey w.

Have a nice vacation fellow Abbey'ers.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, February 29th, 2004

Subject:I can't fucking study!
Time:4:57 pm.
Mood: restless.
I should have stuck to that damn Concerta after all.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Subject:Surprisingly, I feel good!
Time:9:03 am.
Mood: cheerful.
Ok last night was a night I desperately needed. It seriously let out a lot of steam and stress within side me. Earlier yesterday I felt depressed because I didn't want to go outside even though it is so warm out lately because I am a pussy and I don't know how to play sports like everyone else, and I will end up looking like an idiot, but then Lindsay and I made the effort ::shocks:: to go to the Hockey game. Believe it or not, we kicked Harvey's ass! There were some fights and shit on the ice, that was fun to watch. The score was like 7-0. Abbey one (what a rarity!).

Afterwards I was chillin in Benet's common room when Liz, our old friend who used to go here, popped in and we freaked out. We chatted alot, she's still obsessed with all of these guys and that was no surprise. While searching around campus for some people we agreed John and I went to Middletown to purchase some extremely crucial items for exam week, Dunk-a-roos, Carmel Filled Eggs, Sharkie snacks, sodas and doughnuts. Then we were off to McD's.

We ate down in the band room and one of the monks caught us but actually didn't care. There was supposed to be a couple bands playing that night in the auditorium, and I thought they were just going to be some lame Christian bands..but No! They fucking rocked! I bought both CD's. I felt sorry for Elyse Markell because not a whole lot of people came (what do you know? It's the Abbey) but man THE LINGO and HOLIDAY were amazing! I saw Casey and Steph which was good times, too, and I hung out with Ali all night which is a rarity. So I was wicked stoaked about last night, I loved Holiday, they made me chipper.

Well I have got to get ready for Sunday Mass (Nooooo!!!) and study my ass off for exams this week (fuuuuckk).
Comments: Read 4 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, February 26th, 2004

Subject:Everything sucks, I hate being so fucking emo but I can't help my emotions.
Time:10:33 pm.
Mood: melancholy.
I still recall the taste of your tears
echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears
my favorite dreams of you still wash ashore
scraping through my head 'till I don't want to sleep anymore

you make this all go away
you make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing
and I'm starting to scare myself
you make this all go away
you make this all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have

you always were the one to show me how
back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now
this thing is slowly taking me apart
grey would be the color if I had a heart
come on tell me

you make this all go away
you make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing
and I'm starting to scare myself
you make this all go away
you make this all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have

in this place it seems like such a shame
though it all looks different now,
I know its still the same
everywhere I look you're all I see
just a fading fucking reminder of who I used to be
come on tell me

you make this all go away
you make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing
and I'm starting to scare myself
you make this all go away
you make it all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have
I just want something I can never have
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, February 24th, 2004

Subject:Bah
Time:10:47 pm.
Mood: cranky.
The past two months at this school have been some of the worst in my life. I fucking hate everything about this school right now, I need to get away from this place. I wish I could leave it now, but I know it wouldn't be a good choice...I am basically stuck here. I'm sick of complaining about life but I just can not stop. I'm just unhappy. I miss my family and friends, and San Diego. Cast Parties are just popularity contests. And Ms. McDouggal is a bitch. Fuck this place.
Comments: Read 7 orAdd Your Own.

Subject:my flesh and blood
Time:7:15 pm.
Mood: accomplished.
Has anyone seen the documentary "My Flesh and Blood"? It's about the mother who adopts 12 special needs children who are all handicapped and raises them, the director follows the family throughout their struggles in an entire year. I would love to see it.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, February 22nd, 2004

Subject:I can't ever think of any thought-provoking subject titles
Time:11:10 am.
Mood: contemplative.
Bah, Mass is a wretched creation. I literally dread every Sunday now, just because of the fact I am forced to sit through a depressing Mass. Last night's show was alright, not as good as Friday's, but at two o'clock today we have another one. So it will be back to work again. Man, I feel like going to go see a movie...I want to see Mystic River still. That and L.I.E. or Beautiful Thing. Well, I'm out.

AND:

Sigur Ros IS the best Band in the world! FUCK every song by them is just beautiful, I get into a wierd state of emotion. If you haven't heard of them, get "The Nothing Song" by them.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

LiveJournal for Shana.

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You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.